While living in Armenia and raising kids here can be very
empowering and enriching, it also comes with its part of challenges; the main one for me being the lack of equality and diversity that they witness or encounter in
their everyday life and more specifically in dealing with different
institutions and services available to the public; transport, schools,
hospital, public spaces, entertainment centers… This lack of equality is
demonstrated in many forms; comments, attitudes, stereotypes, annoying constant
staring from others, unsolicited derogatory comments, peer-pressure, lack of
accessibility/opportunities for some. So
while you try to teach your kids, as part of your family values, to be who they
want to be and respect and treat equally everyone else regardless the way they
look, what they wear, the way they walk or talk, who they love or attracted to,
if they have disabilities or not, it seems that once outside of the home they
are constantly bombarded by opposite messages from school teachers, taxi
drivers, grocery store workers, doctors(sometimes), TV, pop singers, art school
teachers and many people they encounter outside their home.
Of course during
the years, you find ways to deal with all these challenges like talking more
with your kids, raising the issue with their teachers, encouraging
self-expression no matter what others say, support them unconditionally and try
to find safe nurturing spaces/institutions/initiatives for them to be able to grow
and mature. And sometimes you just sit and cry and get angry together with them for
things that seems almost impossible to change and giving them hope that some
day it will and try to find solutions in the meantime for them to feel better
in this society. Overall all these challenges make your family grow stronger
together and teach your kids to be able to lead their own battles, develop
self-confidence and learn how to deal with different mentalities wherever they
find themselves in the future.
So our trip to Vienna was somehow refreshing and gave the
kids the opportunity to live for a short period in a city where diversity is
celebrated and equality is part of the city’s policies. So they got to
experience how all public transportation was accessible to everyone, as well as
museums, buildings, and all spaces. They saw first hand how different people
were celebrating together the New Year without any fight or violence, everyone
minding their own business. People were dressed differently in the metro, some
had blue, green hair, one even had a butterfly on his beard and funny eyeglasses…
My 16 year-old who often gets asked in the street of Yerevan “Aghchik es te
tgha? (are you a girl or a boy?”) because she has very short hair and dresses
in a gender neutral way, spent a whole week not being bothered with these kind
of comments.
The last day, we had booked rooms in a very gay-friendly guesthouse, Pension Wild. My 14 year-old who is an advocate of equal rights and gets
many problems from her classmates for raising the issue of homophobia and
sexism in school was super excited to see the rainbow flag on the entrance of
the pension. We had to share toilets and my 11 year-old had many questions after
reading the queerbook, which was left in the common toilets and was going
through it and engaging us in the discussion. The owner of the hostel (Pension
Wild) was also very friendly with everyone and the kids liked him and felt the
warm welcome. While walking down the streets, my kids noticed also the streetlights
showing green light same-sex couples and pointed out on how people are
respectful of others’ choices and identities.
We arrived back to Yerevan in the early morning, tired but
content. My 16 year-old was passing though the passport control in front of us
when the other officer beside her booth turned to the officer looking through
her passport asking in Armenian (thinking that my daughter is a tourist or
didn’t understand the language) “huh, inch e aghchik er te tgha?” (is she a
girl or a boy?)- My daughter turned to him very quickly and with a frown and
loud voice said “Iyaaa, ch-haskatsa?” (Hey, what do you mean? In a local slang) – So
the officer turned away, surprised.
Vienna was a good place to show kids that equality is
possible and people lived much better and peacefully when everyone is included
and valued.
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