Yes to Violence Against Women...No to Preventing Assault and offering help!

It's funny how people tend to automatically criticize us and try to silence us when we start talking about violence against women in Armenia (and in lots of other places, i am assuming it is the same!). Last year, I remember when we were planning our march to stop violence against women for november 25, the city mayor's office demanded from us that we bring them written proof that there is violence against women in Armenia in order to give us the permit for public action. Their main goal was to persuade us that we were fighting for a cause that did not exist in Armenia. This year, we wanted to post on billboards around the city an ad stating that "sexual violence is a crime" and you can get help by calling the hotline and the city gave us again lots of trouble, refusing to give us permission to put this ad.

"Sexual assault is a crime, free confidential hotline" (not authorized by the city mayor office)

First they stated that even though we were not violating any advertising or city laws, they were not finding this ad "morally" good for the population. Then they stated that "when a girl is raped, then what, already her life ends...what can you do more for her, it's finished, so why advertise help?". Then when we insisted, they accused us of creating fear among the population and that we were terrorizing women and preventing them to go outside, that this banner was offensive. Today, we are still fighting to get our message out in the public and voice our concerns. while the State with all its institutions, is trying to ignore the problem and put all kind of obstacles to make us shut up.

Meanwhile the calls on the Sexual Assault Crisis Center are increasing every month. Women, girls are calling asking for help. Sometimes all it takes to help is to acknowledge the problem, to say to the victim that "no it was not your fault" while most people are ready to blame them. When will we stop accusing women of not being in the right place, not wearing the proper dress or for staying too long out at night?





And sometimes, young women like G.K very courageously try to break this unbearable silence and talk about it. This time the perpetrator is a police officer who used his power took advantage of his position to intimidate the young girl and sexually assault her in a Yerevan public park:

"May 9th is a holiday for many citizens of our country, but for me it is a day full of sad memories which make me shiver until today. I decided to write about this day when during the PR campaign of the Sexual Assault Center I heard many negative opinions, saying: "What are you so worried about? There is no violence against women in Armenia." I am one of the people responsible for this... because I was silent.   

...he(police officer) didn't believe us and decided to make sure of it himself by trying to check if I was "pure"(virgin) by touching my body in its most intimate places. Because of my lack of knowledge of the rules and my rights well enough I let him humiliate me in front of my boyfriend. My boyfriend was way too scared. He only kept insisting that nothing happened. And I let the officer do whatever he was doing just to keep out of trouble. He was stupid enough to believe that fluids are a sign of missing virginity and now sure that his suspicions were right, he asked my boyfriend to let him talk to me alone. He took me a few meters away. I made sure that my boyfriend was never out of sight. One more time he touched different parts of my body and with the same obscene voice he pronounced the following sentence, which I will never forget: "Honey, we can solve this issue very easily. You just can't tell your boyfriend anything about it." , read more here and in Armenian here.

The only way things will start to change when people start talking about it, denouncing it and not only women, this is everyone's responsibility and it affects us all!



-cognac ad (authorized by the city)

Meanwhile, the city of Yerevan finds it ok and "moral" to have half naked women to advertise vodka and cognac everywhere in the city, but it is a big no for advertising help for victims of violence in our society. What is the message here that women are getting? Which of these photos is offensive in your opinion?

Violence against women: from Vienna to Yerevan

(I wrote this text during my travel to Vienna for the OSCE conference, it was published on the blog of www.pushingthelimits.se)

While waiting to board my flight back home, I reflected on what I learned during these past 2 days in Vienna at the OSCE Supplementary Meeting on gender equality with a special focus on violence against women.

This was the first time I was participating in a conference of this scope and representing our NGO, the Women’s Resource Center.  All member state representatives were invited; including civil society and government. The discussions where divided into 3 sub-topics: Protection, Prosecution and Prevention. The participants were invited to share their successful practices in the area, ask questions and give recommendations on the issue for better interventions in the future.

For the occasion, I dropped my jeans, colorful blouses and comfortable sneakers for a more “serious” look; black pants, a shirt and a conservative jacket, thinking that in order to be taken seriously by the people participating in the meeting, I needed to make some concessions.

The first day, during the civil society round table, we formed three small groups to discuss the different aspects of violence against women. I was in the group of people discussing prevention. On my right side, there was this nice lady with a long black dress from an Austrian NGO for healthy families, trying to convince me that patriarchy is actually good but poor economy and lack of support for young families and absence of grand-parents were the causes why men sometimes were violent with their wives. I had an intense urge to ask her if she had any origins from Armenia or the Caucasus? Then I refrained to make any humorous remarks, these people were really “serious” about everything and would definitely not appreciate me being sarcastic. On the other side, two women from Kyrgyzstan were trying to explain how bride snapping was an important problem they were fighting in their country and all the European looking participants were going ts ts ts, shaking their heads in real concern. In front of me, a very determined and loud woman from PAX Europe German-Austrian NGO was trying to convince everyone else by using the “poor” Kyrgyz women’s statements, that Islam was one of the causes of domestic violence. I was shocked, my pants were itching me, I wasn’t sure if it was because of the fabric or the racist, sexist and hetero-normative statements I was hearing in the middle of this peaceful gathering that was driving me mad.

The next day, a judge from Spain, presented the advanced legal system adopted by her government to fight this problem and help women in the most efficient way, another group presented their domestic violence law, others followed bringing on more and more practices from Ukraine, Kazakhstan, Russia, Georgia, USA. Finally, a woman from Solidarity Africa claimed that all state members agree that this is an important issue and have been signing all kinds of conventions, but no one has been monitoring them to ensure that they are being adequately implemented. In my opinion, she is the one who voiced the most important recommendation by urging the OSCE to be stricter in monitoring member countries.

My countries’ official governmental representatives were not present to this meeting; they did not hear all the recommendations. They had not one good practice to present on the issue; they still have a hard time acknowledging that violence against women is actually a real problem in Armenia.

Sadness was what I felt throughout the meeting sessions and afterwards while walking back to my hotel in the cold November evening through the colorful Christmas decorated storefronts of this historic city. I was wondering how long it will take us Armenians to realize, how long before we acknowledge the problem, how long before the draft law on Domestic violence will pass in parliament, how long until women will finally break the silence on violence and abuse?

This November 25, with a group of activists, the Women’s Resource Center will march for the 4^th consecutive year in Yerevan to raise our voices on violence against women and girls, to show our support to all those suffering silently in their homes, alone in boarding schools or at the work place.

…

It is so cold at the Vienna airport. Before closing my laptop, I check one last time my emails; I read the one sent by the coordinator of the November 25 events at our Center. As I go through it, I feel anger replacing my sadness; the Mayor’s office that grants permits for all kind of public actions in our city is requesting our presence for a meeting in two days, apparently we need to convince them that violence against women is a real issue in Armenia in order to receive permission to organize a march or a protest.

As I board the plane for Yerevan, leaving behind the peaceful city of Vienna, I think of all the challenges awaiting me there and I try to convince myself to stay calm to be able to persevere one day at a time. 


Read more texts by activists in areas of conflict on www.pushingthelimits.se/en