About my life in Armenia, about being a mom and an activist, working for women's rights.
The challenges and benefits of raising a family in a post-soviet republic.
Finding a place, my place and calling it HOME.


O Canada

22 years ago, i came to Canada, more specifically Montreal. Leaving war-torn Beirut behind them, my parents wanted to give us, my brothers and me, a safe haven.
This city means so much to me; back then, it meant rehabilitation, building confidence, healing and dreaming of a better life. I was a traumatized teenager when we first arrived to the Mirabel airport. The city looked so big, i was lost. Then, with it's peaceful surroundings, challenging educational opportunities and human approach, Montreal won my heart. I liked the place so much and interacting with different people from diverse backgrounds expanded my horizons. I appreciated the simple things that this country had to offer to an immigrant like me who all her life lived in a war-torn country with a dream of a better world. I remember the first time i visited the local public library in my area; spending hours touching the books all available for me for free, sitting endlessly in front of the archives, reading for hours and coming back twice sometime three times a week just to spend time there and devore hysterically almost every single book on my hands.

I remember the CEGEP, college where i completely found myself immersed in the Quebecois society; learning the accent, the ways, the culture and building so many friendships with different groups: the haitians, the latin-americans, the straights and the gays, the artists, the writers...i learned how different people coming from diverse cultures and backgrounds as well as orientations were able to live in peace without oppressing each other.

Since then, life took me to other continents, to other places, to Yerevan specifically where i am now living for the past 10 years. My parents did not understand my move in the beginning; why did i need to go back to a place where there was no peace, where there was no security and no protection? I still don't have the complete answer to this question.

So i am back here, for a while. I want to spend some time with my parents, my family, my grand-mother who is starting to forget things hoping that she still remembers me.
I want to take some time for myself. I want for a short time not to think of all the problems in the world and around me.
I want to take a break from Armenia.

I am also off Facebook, my on-line life for the next 3 weeks will only be on this blog.

For 3 weeks, i want to stop thinking about all the things that are going bad in Armenia. I want to stop reading all the negative and agressive thoughts related to the Armenian society.

Even i need to rest sometimes.

This is not a time of doubt and depression, it's more a time to gather back all my energy, to see things from the outside, to find what is really important in my life.

It is also a time to appreciate my parents, as they are getting old, i feel that i am not spending as much time with them as i wanted to.

My two boys are accompanying me in this journey. Yeprad and Vayk are also appreciating this short change; seeing their grand-parents, playing with cousins and having everyone's attention on them, is so comforting to watch.

I don't have any plans, rights now, my plan is not to have one.

Some people won't understand this, others may gossip about it. But what matters for me right now is to be lost in the crowd, to write and to reflect, to let go of all the negativity built up in me these past months.

1 comment:

  1. I agree, Lara jan, that things can get a bit intense in Armenia and sometimes you just need a break. I am also realizing that things can seem to be much worse on Facebook, in particular, and on the Internet, in general. It's good to take a break from our online personas too sometimes :-) Have a good vacation, jan...