My War diaries - October #ArtsakhStrong

On September 27, 2020 Azerbaijan has declared war on the civil population of Artsakh in the middle of a global pandemic. Since then,  the territory of Nagorno-Karabakh has been bombarded heavily, cities, hospitals, kindergartens, schools and civilian residences. Thousands are being killed including soldiers and civilians, more than 60 000 have been displaced from their homes, mostly women, children and elderly...

I kept a diary of these days, while I was engaged like many of us in Yerevan on providing humanitarian aid to the refugees and those affected by the conflict. 

I am reposting here my previous posts, so I remember...

October 1 - Day 5 of war: the worst part these days is to wake up to the suffocating uncertainty and fear each morning.

After managing a few hours of sleep, send a message to loved ones in NK, hold your breath and wait with anxiety for them to respond that they are ok.

Then quickly and hysterically go over the news feed or whatever info available(not much) to try figure out how worse the situation became in the few hours that you passed out, hoping that damages are scarce, not more than what your heart can handle.

Then try to breathe...

October 3 - Day 7 of war. I don’t know what to feel anymore, fear? Panic? Sadness? Anger? This morning I am thinking about the aftermath of all this. If we stay alive and sane, How are we going once more to deal with all the consequences that war leaves behind, losses, destruction, dismantled infrastructures, destroyed homes, orphaned children, widowed women, the hate, broken bodies, broken souls...

The already extremely sad entrance walls of schools will be filled once more of new fresh photos of fathers, uncles and brothers of kids, who were killed these days. And children will walk in their classrooms under the heavy gazes of these portraits remembering each and every day those who are no more with us.

those among us who survive this, will spend another lifetime cleaning up after all the mess that war will leave behind, pick up the pieces, try to restore and heal the souls... reconstructing the roads and houses would be the easiest part, it’s the rest that I am afraid of.

Many of you are writing asking how to help. If I don’t answer back, it is because honestly I don’t know how...but it helps a lot that you are asking and offering support.

Talk about what’s happening here among your circles. Donate to

Hayastan All Armenian Fund Հայաստան համահայկական հիմնադրամ

to ensure the humanitarian aid. Check on your friends, relatives here, talk to them if you can.

Yesterday, I was practicing with my kids what to do during an emergency air raid. It is so sad to see how children grow up so fast in these situations.

I wish I could predict the end of this war in the coffee cup, i wish it was as easy as that, I wish I had all the answers and appease everyone...but there is so little I can do and feeling so empty right now.

It's my park, keep it clean!

We woke up very early, as usual and after sending the older kids to school and cuddling for a while with baba, Yeprad, my 2-year-old and I went out for our regular walk down Baghramyan street towards our favorite park. After greeting every single dog, cat and bird, on our way and waving to the "babik" on his horse (Marshal Baghramyan) at the corner of Proshyan and mimicking the police car sound effect, we finally entered Lover’s Park. I was following my little guy quietly, enjoying the peaceful morning when we approached one of the benches. Suddenly, Yeprad got upset, changing the tone of his voice, pointing with his finger  to something on the floor and calling it: "amot, amot, badij!"(shame, shame on you, punish) - Finally I realized that he was pointing at chocolate wrapper on the floor near the bench and was angry at the people who might have thrown it on the ground, dirtying "his" park. We usually teach him not to throw waste on the floor and keep nature clean. His babysitter had also taught him the word "amot", unfortunately, so he uses it whenever something bothers him or make him angry:) 

Parks and playgrounds rated by my kids

Yerevan has nice parks and some of them are really interesting for kids and others are not so friendly. Since we decided to spend the summer here this year, we tested most of the popular ones. In this post, I will present my kids’ most preferred green(or not so) areas of Yerevan and one in Ashtarak town.

The process of selection:

After going regularly to most of these places, I sat with my kids today and asked them to rate which one they liked and why? Opinions were different, so you will see at the end of each park the ratings provided by each – (A for  11 yrs old Amassia, V for 9 year old Varanta and Vk for 6 year old Vayk)

Based on their suggestions we formed a chart for parks in our area, here it is:

Birth

The day had come; I was going to experience my 2^nd childbirth in Armenia, this time in another hospital. I had Vayk my 3^rd at Erebuni Hospital. And today I was heading to the republican one.

It was 8 am and the doctor was waiting for me at the entrance. After paying the fees for the room and registering, we took the elevator to the 4^th floor to put everything in our room. Then the doctor came with a half-asleep nurse who explained what I needed to do before the operation. This was my 4^th child and I was here for a scheduled c-section.  The nurse installed the IV and asked me to sit and relax until they finish injecting 2 bags of fluids to prevent dehydration during the operation.

The story of the 4th occupation of my body

Yes we finally decided, or the baby decided for us! I am 5 months pregnant and will experience again pregnancy and childbirth in Armenia. I will post regular updates on that, to keep my family living abroad part of this 4th adventure and also to give information on the procedures (medical and other) related to pregnancy and childbirth options in local hospitals and other facilities.


Now i have one more reason to help make Armenia a better place :)


Due Date : march 1st, 2011 

Meet Ipod/Ipad/Iphone: the future parents of your kids!

Today was the first day for the brainy beans English workshop for kids at Educ Youth Center in Yerevan. Since there are little alternative language schools offered for kids here, I decided to register mine to this 4-week workshop taught by a British educator. After almost collapsing on the 6^th floor stairs I finally arrived with my 8-year-old daughter on the doorsteps of the classroom.

While we were waiting for the class to start, a boy, same age as my daughter entered, looked around, then opened his bag, took out an iphone and called his mom/dad to tell them that he was there. Then he saw one of his friends and they started pushing each other, playing, joking, then this boy turned around and told his friend: “look at my iphone, it’s brand new, my dad bought it for me for my birthday…look I have pictures and games” and the other boy was looking envious, probably thinking how he could convince his parents to buy him one as well.

I was there standing with a stupid look on my face, I mean I just got my first iphone a month ago, a used one on top of that!

Yes, this is an important issue; lots of kids, younger and younger are getting cell phones from their parents. The major excuse is to keep in touch with them, in case something happens (a course delayed, a piano lesson cancelled, an earthquake!). Ok, I understand that this can be useful, but what about the other side that no one seems to be looking at; your child is having a full free communication with the outside world, with complete lack of supervision from you, and most of the phones have now access to internet (unsupervised access as well) and I am not mentioning all the spam, sexualized messages and photos that preteens and even 9 year olds or older kids can sms to each other just to be cool!

This is just the beginning, I am not yet talking about the ipod games, Nintendo etc…

When I was in Canada, this summer, most of the families that I visited had young children addicted to that. And I mean really addicted; they would collapse if you take it away from them, they will get nervous if an hour passed and they were not clicking on any kind of screen like little crazy, hysteric robots. It was so sad to see these kids, sitting one beside the other, almost not communicating with each other, clueless of what else to do in case the ipod ran out of batteries or they were found in a room with no electronics only regular toys.  And how about the amount of time that the child is physically inactive, stuck indoors, not moving at all? How healthy is that? Especially if they are like that for hours in a day, forgetting sometimes even to eat.

Sad also to see their parents who were happy that their kids were sitting still, occupied and most of all not bothering them, not asking them to go to the park or to a friends house or to play with them…

In Armenia, the invasion is almost there. But most parents can not afford it yet, so my kids could still find friends, not stuck to their ipod or computer screen, to play with, outside in the garden, to get dirty, to sweat, to run and jump and shout.

At Areqnazan/Waldorf school in Yerevan, even parents are not aloud to use their phone inside and teachers often warn them to limit computer and TV time at home.

But most of them find it difficult not because they don’t know how to stop their children, I think it has more to do with our own attitudes: we sometimes forget that being a parent is a skill, a vocation and no one better than us can entertain our kids or educate them, not even an ipod!

Dance classes that break your children's self-esteem

One of the things that i really like of life in Armenia is the multiple dance, music and art classes offered to children after school. Some art schools, like Igityan cultural center, have a long experience of teaching children dance and most of the children growing up in Yerevan specifically go to one of these schools to learn Armenian folkloric dance, ballet, latino and other styles.

Parents (mostly mothers and grand-mothers) religiously take their kids after school to those classes who are situated in different parts of the city and wait for them (for an hour or two twice a week in cold and dark waiting areas) to finish and escort them back home. Learning to dance is important to develop children's mind and body. They learn rhythm, music and coordination and move all the time instead of sitting in front of the TV for hours.

I used to take my 3 kids as well to these classes myself before i started working long hours and then Diguine Anna, our patient babysitter continued to take over this task. I also remember how i used to sit for a whole hour or two in these cold entrances, talking with other mothers, reading or writing and being happy that my kids also are benefitting from this opportunity. Dance classes for children in Canada are limited and not as affordable as in Armenia.

I always thought that these classes were an important tool to develop most importantly children's self-esteem and give them more confidence in their abilities. But i realized recently that I was wrong! Some of the very much known dance schools were doing in reality the complete opposite. A while ago, my daughters started complaining, not wanting to go to dance classes anymore. Then they started saying that the teacher is very mean and saying things she shouldn't say like "look how you are dancing, you are tmbo or what?" to one of their friends. Amassia complained that the school director was always saying to the girls (7-12yr olds) "stop eating too much, you are getting fat, how are you going to dance on stage...". The funny thing is that the school they go to "Sofi Devoyan Dance school" also sells cheap junk food(Sofi chocolate, Sofi cotton candy,Sofi popcorn, ...) in the school waiting area for these same kids. This already gives you an idea that this school's top priority is to make money, the rest is not as important it seems. Teachers don't know how to talk to kids and even though my husband and I complained many times, they didn't do anything since they have lots of students and business is good!

I discussed this with local Armenian girls, who used also to go to these kind of classes in their childhood and some of them, told me as well how bad some of the teachers used to treat them, giving them lots of complexes that they still carry until now.

Amassia and Varanta stopped going to dance classes a week ago. We will search again for a better dance school with well educated and prepared teachers and a caring administration. Vayk loves the Igityan school and until now we didn't have any complaints, but still monitoring.

So this is to tell you to be more attentive as parents and follow closely these kind of classes, in Armenia or elsewhere some teachers could break your child self-esteem(especially for girls, we have enough body image problems in society among adolescent girls, we need to be more careful) with their ignorance and negative attitudes and this is not at all acceptable.

So for now, on my bad list (regarding self-esteem development in children and absence of pedagogical approach) is:

Sofi Devoyan Dance School

Any other schools that you could recommend? would love to hear from your experiences as parents or dancers.

Story time at the children's library in Yerevan

Yerevan has a very nice children's library situated on Teryan street in the middle of the city, called "Khnko Aper Children's Library". The old building is a legacy of soviet times and has ben renovated recently. It is a 3 floor building and each floor is divided to sections where books are classified by age/grade groups. If you have a proof of residency, the library provides you with a membership card and you are able to take out children's book for several weeks.
I used to go very often and take my kids to the story hours where "heqiat morakuyr" (the storyteller aunt) dressed in traditional costumes, in a very nice decor, would narrate different tales from Tumanyan and other children authors. You could find there a good selection of books and the area is very welcoming, even though sometimes the employees get very strict with children instead of encouraging them to touch and read the books freely. The second floor is reserved for foreign languages, where you could find a nice collection of children's books, albums and magazines in French, English, German, Italian and Russian. The library has also an audio section where kids could listen to music and watch Armenian cartoons. The basement is run by Konus(art center) where children can make crafts and where you could buy materials for handicrafts.

Lately, as part of celebrating "francophonie" in Armenia, storytellers from Belgium, Quebec and France  were invited to tell stories from other countries. The experience was magical, as the very talented story-tellers used music, singing and sound-effects to attract the children's attention on magical legends from abroad.

Talk to me, I am here for you

I thought for a long time before writing something on this issue. Then I said to myself children are important, they should be top priority everywhere, including Armenia, since they are the most vulnerable and an easy target for sexual abuse.

For every parent raising a kid in Canada or the US, this subject is a very scary one. TV, schools, radio, newspapers, public ads constantly remind them to be careful of predators, abductors and pedophiles everywhere in school, on the streets, in the parks and at home.

In Armenia, it is still a major taboo to speak about violence in general let alone sexual violence and even more against children. Only during these past few months, I have personally read 3 articles in different on-line Armenian journals (for the first time) about sexual assault against children: the first incident was in Yerevan where a group of men raped a little girl of 8yrs old in one of the parks, the other in a region where a young boy of 5 was sexually abused by his neighbors and family friend and one in a village where a small boy was raped by 3 teenagers in school.

Before that there was the case of sexual abuse in Nubarashen boarding school raised by the activist Mariam Sukhudyan which awakened the whole society on this issue and slowly former students of these schools came forward and started opening up about the past and the ongoing abuses in these schools.

When you go to different meetings and talk with professionals working in the field of child protection in Armenia you always hear horror stories about the reality of sexual abuse of children in families and outside as well. But rarely will people raise the issue publicly. Why? Fear, Shame or maybe the lack of procedure and intervention mechanisms.

One thing is sure, this silence is not protecting our children. It is hard, it is scary and horrifying, but people should be aware that it EXISTS as well in Armenia and not talking about it will not make it go away. The hard part is that since nobody talks (and the ones who speak out are made to feel guilty), everyone thinks that it is not an issue here, so parents are more relaxed, trusting everyone even strangers with their children. This lack of awareness could lead us more into trouble and making our children, the perfect victims: available, free and unaware!

When I use to volunteer in the regions of Armenia, I always found it odd that young children were accompanying us everywhere without sometimes even the knowledge of their parents. Later, when I moved in a big residential building in Yerevan, I noticed young girls(and by young I mean 5-6yrs old) playing very late at night in the backyards without any supervision, where it was very easy to find all kind of people.

I know this is a harsh issue and that we sometimes fear that by protecting the children we are robbing of their innocence and childhood. But I also remember the face of that small boy who came to our crisis center after an abuse and I thought if only we taught our children to speak to us more, teach them about the importance of keeping their body and their person safe.

That night, I sat with my kids in my bed and I started talking and asking questions: how was school, if there were any problems, if something was bothering them? Then we talked about our bodies, how it is sacred and belonged to us and only we(each individual) are allowed to touch it. We even practiced shouting out loud as a mechanism to alert others of a dangerous situation they encounter.

It is hard to think of all this. Sometimes I lose sleep over it. Sometimes I overdo it, but the important thing is that we can make a difference by empowering our children and encouraging them to trust their own instincts instead of shutting it down.

Nobody wants to raise victims, so let’s give our children the necessary tools to stay safe inside and outside home.

Yes to Violence Against Women...No to Preventing Assault and offering help!

It's funny how people tend to automatically criticize us and try to silence us when we start talking about violence against women in Armenia (and in lots of other places, i am assuming it is the same!). Last year, I remember when we were planning our march to stop violence against women for november 25, the city mayor's office demanded from us that we bring them written proof that there is violence against women in Armenia in order to give us the permit for public action. Their main goal was to persuade us that we were fighting for a cause that did not exist in Armenia. This year, we wanted to post on billboards around the city an ad stating that "sexual violence is a crime" and you can get help by calling the hotline and the city gave us again lots of trouble, refusing to give us permission to put this ad.

"Sexual assault is a crime, free confidential hotline" (not authorized by the city mayor office)

First they stated that even though we were not violating any advertising or city laws, they were not finding this ad "morally" good for the population. Then they stated that "when a girl is raped, then what, already her life ends...what can you do more for her, it's finished, so why advertise help?". Then when we insisted, they accused us of creating fear among the population and that we were terrorizing women and preventing them to go outside, that this banner was offensive. Today, we are still fighting to get our message out in the public and voice our concerns. while the State with all its institutions, is trying to ignore the problem and put all kind of obstacles to make us shut up.

Meanwhile the calls on the Sexual Assault Crisis Center are increasing every month. Women, girls are calling asking for help. Sometimes all it takes to help is to acknowledge the problem, to say to the victim that "no it was not your fault" while most people are ready to blame them. When will we stop accusing women of not being in the right place, not wearing the proper dress or for staying too long out at night?





And sometimes, young women like G.K very courageously try to break this unbearable silence and talk about it. This time the perpetrator is a police officer who used his power took advantage of his position to intimidate the young girl and sexually assault her in a Yerevan public park:

"May 9th is a holiday for many citizens of our country, but for me it is a day full of sad memories which make me shiver until today. I decided to write about this day when during the PR campaign of the Sexual Assault Center I heard many negative opinions, saying: "What are you so worried about? There is no violence against women in Armenia." I am one of the people responsible for this... because I was silent.   

...he(police officer) didn't believe us and decided to make sure of it himself by trying to check if I was "pure"(virgin) by touching my body in its most intimate places. Because of my lack of knowledge of the rules and my rights well enough I let him humiliate me in front of my boyfriend. My boyfriend was way too scared. He only kept insisting that nothing happened. And I let the officer do whatever he was doing just to keep out of trouble. He was stupid enough to believe that fluids are a sign of missing virginity and now sure that his suspicions were right, he asked my boyfriend to let him talk to me alone. He took me a few meters away. I made sure that my boyfriend was never out of sight. One more time he touched different parts of my body and with the same obscene voice he pronounced the following sentence, which I will never forget: "Honey, we can solve this issue very easily. You just can't tell your boyfriend anything about it." , read more here and in Armenian here.

The only way things will start to change when people start talking about it, denouncing it and not only women, this is everyone's responsibility and it affects us all!



-cognac ad (authorized by the city)

Meanwhile, the city of Yerevan finds it ok and "moral" to have half naked women to advertise vodka and cognac everywhere in the city, but it is a big no for advertising help for victims of violence in our society. What is the message here that women are getting? Which of these photos is offensive in your opinion?

French kindergarten in Armenia...Ah, oui!

Vayk, my youngest goes to the french kindergarten, known as the "Ecole Maternelle d'Erevan". I found this place by chance years ago, through an article in an Armenian journal, just before our move to Armenia and i was so happy. Coming from a francophone background/education myself, I wanted my kids to learn french from an early age and this was a good start-up place.

I visited the place once I arrived with my 2 daughters (aged 8 months and 2 and half). I was really impressed. The kindergarten had started up in 2000 by a french couple living at that time in Armenia and a collective of Armenian parents took over, looking for better options for their children's education. I volunteered for 6 months there, while my oldest one was accompanying me. I wanted to be sure that it was the right place for us and the kind of approach we were looking for. Since then, all 3 of my kids went there and we had a great experience. The language used was french mainly, taught by local Armenian teachers/educators with some classes in Armenian and Russian. The idea was to fully immerse kids in the French language while they were already fluent in Armenian or other languages. This worked perfectly for us. Beside the language issue, I really appreciated the wonderful approach they had to children. The teachers are constantly trained, prepared and follow a well established program. children learn songs, develop their creativity, learn to play with others and all this in a very secure and well organized environment.

The director, Madame Arminee is a very conscious and dedicated  person. She is also very demanding from her staff, always making sure that the kids are in a safe and friendly environment.

The kindergarten has about 100-120 students from 2-6 years old and follows the french program with slight variations to adapt it to the Armenian environment. Each class has 15-16 children with one teacher and one assistant. The kitchen staff is also amazing, providing kids with well balanced menu (breakfast, lunch and snack).

My daughters graduated from there and they still go back whenever they get a chance to help out during their vacations. My son, is still going there, he is 4 and can speak very well in French now. We, as parents are often invited for school yearly performances and enjoy the time spent there.

A typical day schedule at the Maternelle:

8-9:30 - Breakfast and arrival of the children
9:30    -  Door closes and opens back only at 12 (so if you are not there before 9.30 then you have to wait until 12)
10:00 - 12:00 - thematic activities: discovery, language, environment, numbers...(with small breaks)
12:00 - 1:30 -  Lunch (Soup, main dish and cheese)
1:30 - 3:30  - Nap time (3rd floor is reserved for nap, small beds curtains closed, a story and relaxation time)
4:00pm - Snack (usually fruits with cakes)
4:30 - 6:30pm ---- games, reading, playing in the garden (this is when you can pick-up your kid, depending on your work schedule)


The kindergarten is open every day except saturdays and sundays, from september 1 to july 1st. Sometimes they offer a summer camp for the month of july, but in august, everyone is taking a break and preparing for next year. The majority of the children are local armenians from diverse backgrounds, a minority of expat's children and a group of diasporan.

Location: kilikia district in Yerevan, right behind the Ararat cognac factory
cost per child: 150 Euro per month (everything included) which is an average price for a private kindergarten in Yerevan.

Because education at Waldorf school is more than a simple 1+1=2

You could learn a lot on the Waldorf education just by visiting one of the parents-teacher meetings.

Usually the meeting starts at 6pm and is conducted in your child’s classroom. You are allowed to bring your kids if you have nowhere to leave them and they could play in a small room on the same floor.

The teacher, in our case Baron(Mr) Arsen greets the parents with a smile and starts by introducing the topics for the meeting. At first he introduces where the program is at, what are the things that they are learning for the semester and shows some examples on the blackboard. He then introduces the program for the following semester by explaining in details why these topics are chosen and how it corresponds with the evolution, age and rhythm of the children. So by the end of this part you get to have a small lesson in pedagogy on the how and when of the functioning of the child mind and body and how each element of program done in the classroom has its own place in developing the child’s overall growth.

celebrating drntez at the school and students dancing with teachers under the wild rythms of the dhol

Then the second part starts where parents ask questions, voice their concerns on specific matters and look through teaching materials.

Now the last part is my favorite, I call it “ideas and tips for a better education”. This is when Mr. Arsen presents a specific topic related to education to give parents concrete tools on how to help out their children at home to become fully developed human beings. Some past discussions were: nutrition (what to feed your child depending on his character Active VS Passive), How TV affects children, choice of toys/craft materials, how to encourage reading, etc.

This week he gave us 7 keys for raising happy children – which he had heard of during one of his trainings/seminar from an invited guest teacher from Norway. We discussed each one of them and tried to see through our way of life.  

Here are the 7 elements needed for a successful education (followed at the Waldorf school):

1-    1- Developing self-esteem / feeling of being capable among children- something we often forget to do.

2-    2- Faith in the world surrounding us

3-    3- Joy of life – here we discussed how it was important to express happiness as parents as well to teach through our example, which some parents argued that was difficult to do since every day life was not always a happy thing in Armenia.

4-    4- Curiosity – and encouraging it instead of stopping or saying no all the time.

5-    5- Being open to the world around us – tolerance towards all living creatures.

6-    6- Will / through responsibilities taught at a young age – to become independent later.

7-    7- Social abilities – taking care of others, respecting, communicating.

Although these simple principles seem quite obvious, it was nice to hear the teacher talking about them out loud to all the parents and engaging everyone in an open and honest discussion.

While parents and society often criticize Waldorf schools around the world and also in Armenia, I think it is an important method and approach to develop young ones to become responsible human beings. For a country, like ours where the need is greater, this is a sure way of developing future civil society and prepare aware citizens for a better democracy.

Story time - 2nd grade

The meetings usually last an hour and half and I leave the school happy, content and even more confident that this is the best environment where my kids could blossom.

histoire d'une naissance - 1ere Partie

(ce texte a été publié dans le recueil "Special Residency Status: 18 tales from Armenian Repatriates", 2008. Je raconte l'experience de mon accouchement en Armenie.)

A l’hôpital Erebuni tout est vieux, gris et triste sauf cette chambre d’accouchement ou tout est blanc propre et lumineux...

Mais la route qui mène à cet endroit, aussi vielle que l’ère soviétique est presque impossible à décrire.

Imaginez une longue route, mal pavée, avec plein de nids de poules, imaginez que vous prenez cette route assise dans un vieux taxi gigouli, qui a chaque petit trou fait un grand saut et atterrit douloureusement avec un bruit fracassant. Imaginez toute la misère qui déroule devant vous, à travers la petite fenêtre soudée. Imaginez un chauffeur de taxi qui ne cesse de maudire ces rues et se plaint de ce gouvernement qui ne fait jamais rien pour son peuple, qui regrette le passé et toutes ses splendeurs. Et imaginez surtout que vous avez entrepris ce long voyage vers l’hôpital, enceinte, en douleurs, les eaux coulant entre les jambes, les contractions arrivant à toutes les cinq  minutes, haïssant l`humanité entière ainsi que les dieux d`avoir créer la femme ainsi, reproductrice de douleurs, maudissant avec rage, placenta, utérus et vagin, zygote et sperme et tout ce qui l’accompagne!

Mais, tout a débuté tranquillement, en un joli matin printanier, sur ce singulier rue Tigran medz, à Erevan...

 - Raffi, je pense qu`il faut appeler diguine Anna, je sens des tiraillements dans le bas ventre. Penses-tu que c’est le moment ?

Je m’étais réveillée très tôt le matin vers les 4hres pour aller aux toilettes. Il faisait encore noir, mes deux fillettes dormaient d’un sommeil d’ange dans leur chambre.

Varanta souriait. Elle était tellement belle, si sage dans son profond sommeil.

Amassia, ma grande, celle qui s’inquiète de tout et surtout de la santé de sa maman, avait changé de place, elle préférait dormir dans le lit de sa petite soeur.

Je n’avais pas beaucoup de temps, il fallait que j’aille aux toilettes. Une fois sortie, je sentais toujours du liquide couler entre mes jambes. J’étais assez lourde, vers la fin du 9e mois, mes jambes me faisaient mal et là ce matin, des crampes dans mon bas-ventre.   Le 3^e, on a décidé de l’avoir ici en Arménie, une folie peut-être, loin du confort paresseux des hôpitaux canadiens, loin des parents, loin du précis.

Maman m’a appelée hier, elle s’inquiétait à mon sujet, elle craignait le pire. Qu’allais-je faire? Bien j’ai dit : « trop tard maman, des enfants naissent en Arménie, tous les jours, je ne vois pas pourquoi tu t’inquiètes. Tout ira bien. » En lui parlant, j’essayais aussi de me réconforter. Durant les dernières semaines, je paniquais aussi, le doute me harcelait. Le médecin était le seul qui me donnait courage, David Levonovich était un jeune gynécologue qui passait le temps nécessaire pour mettre ses patientes à l’aise. C’était le sourire dans la noirceur!

-       Lar, ça va?- Raffi a moitié endormi, s’est planté devant moi, dans le corridor. J’avais pris du temps aux toilettes. Il s’en était inquiété.

-        

-       Raff, je pense qu’il faut appeler David, je sens quelque chose de différent, là en bas.

Diguine Anna, qui gardait nos filles, depuis 2 ans, arriva quelques minutes plus tard, toute excitée.

Le taxi etait là.

Il était très tôt encore, il n’y avait personne dehors, une chance! Ce n’était pas une de ces journées où j’aurai aimé être regardée, fixée par tous les passants. A vrai dire, j’étais aussi une vraie spectacle; les tresses jamaïcaines longues que je m’étais faites au Canada chez

Afro coiffure, soi-disant pour faciliter les choses de tous les jours, assez pratique comme coiffure, une grosse ventre, le visage joufflu, les jambes ouvertes, à la marche dodelinante et la sécrétion liquide qui coulait à petits jets.

(A suivre)

Armenia in my kids

I was being lazy lately and not writing much on my blog. The holidays came by and passed so quickly. I had planned a list of things to do, to write, to prepare for the New Year and did so little actually.

I started my 7^th year in Armenia and I just noticed that my moving here and transition from the life I had in Canada to the Armenian one is so clearly embedded in my children’s different personalities.

Amassia is my Canada; she was almost 3 when we left. I was a very paranoid mom at that time and while learning the joys and pains of motherhood, I was finishing my master’s degree in Montreal. Since the North American society teaches you that every stranger that approaches your kid might want to harm him/her or the kindergarten teacher could be a pedophile, it was very difficult not to teach her from a young age to stay away from strangers or to not accept candies and to always stay beside mom or dad whenever outside. Today, she is the careful one, always watching people closely, noticing things, not smiling to strangers on the street greeting her (very common in Armenia), never accepting candies, always seeing that I am there, close in case she needs something.

She is also the one that worries about the environment a lot, gets angry when sees a broken tree, hates to see the garbage on the street and always thinking of ways to change that. Even lately, I saw her preparing recycling bags for paper and plastic and asking everyone (insisting) to use it.  She finds Armenia too dirty, too racist and sometimes boring.

Varanta is my transition period; she was 8 months old when we arrived. I think at that time I was the only mom breastfeeding in public, almost everywhere. I was even once asked at a children’s indoor playground to go to the kitchen to breastfeed. Which of course I refused to do! And had a huge argument with the psychologist on why I chose to breastfeed there where my other child was playing…but that’s a whole other story.

Varanta eats only spass(Armenian yogut soup), borsht and vermicelle and loves khachapuri, galbass (processed meat) and cheese.  She calls everyone “guyrik” and “aperik”. She is friendly with almost everyone and when she gets angry she shouts like a crazy lady “hima tes yes inch em anelu qez! Spanelu em!”.

She finds Armenia a little dirty,  not so racist and whenever she visits her grand-parents in Montreal, she starts missing her “home” back in Armenia and she repeats: gnank tun eli! Karotel em!

Vayk is my Armenia; he was born here, in Yerevan. Everyone is for him a “morkur”, “tati”, “hopar” or “guyrik” “aperik”. He talks to everyone without fear.  He almost never speaks in western Armenian. He uses a lot of Russian words, which is a challenge when he talks to my parents over the phone. They completely lose it when he starts talking about “militsia”(police) and “samalyot”(plane) and “chelavek pawuk”(spiderman)… He enjoys simple things like a walk to the vernissage to pet the small dogs on sale, the bonchikanots for yummy Armenian donuts and the different children’s puppet shows on Sundays.

I certainly learned a lot as a mother. I did let go of some of my deepest fears. I gave more space to my children to grow.

Although bad things do happen in Armenia, but I still believe it is a healthier and happier place to raise children.

The Waldorf school experience in Armenia

When I moved to Armenia in 2003, my daughters were very young and schooling was something that I was thinking about endlessly.

I am known to be a slightly paranoid mother and choosing a school or a kindergarten was a major concern for me, specially here.

The process started by long visits to almost more than 10-12 schools and kindergartens in the city center, not too far from the area where we were living.  With each school I visited my hopes were getting lower and lower. The education system in Armenia needs a good reform but the government seems to move very slowly in this area. Teachers needed to be re-licensed, trained…the situation was almost catastrophic.  In some schools, the old dirty walls, the sad classrooms and not very hygienic toilets gave the impression that not a lot of work was done since soviet times.  What bothered me the most was the way teachers and educators were talking to the children, sometimes calling them names, shouting a lot, punishing by scaring them…not a very pedagogical approach to education. In most of the places I visited at that time (2003-2005) I was greeted by unhappy, tired teachers with a huge lack of energy and motivation.

I almost opted for homeschooling, when I heard about “Areknazan” school from one of my acquaintances. This was a Waldorf/Steiner school. I couldn’t believe it at first. I was a big fan of the Waldorf approach when I was in Canada and knowing that there was one in Armenia working since the mid 90s, made me jump of joy!

Today my two girls are going to this alternative school and are so happy. I remember when we visited the first time; clean, bright, colorful walls, teachers smiling, children relaxed, art work everywhere…it was amazing. The environment is full of positive energy. The children acting more natural, running everywhere, creating, singing. Now I am not saying everything is perfect, it has its challenging sides too, but the positive effects are much bigger.

The children learn with respect to their natural rhythms; they are prepared for the real life and taught concrete techniques (knitting, crochet, building, working the land..) as part of their curriculum. The languages are Armenian, Russian, German and English. They don’t have textbooks, they create their own, they use natural materials (cotton wood…) no synthetic things. Children with learning disabilities or attention deficit are also accepted in the regular classrooms (inclusive education). My daughter has a classmate who is autistic and one who has ADHD and they seem to adapt very well to the rhythm of the class. And the other children learn on how to take care of them and be tolerant. Imagination and creativity is at the core of the program. And most importantly, parents are very much involved in everything.

When you search on the Internet on Waldorf schools, you will find lots of mixed opinions. I believe the approach is great for children and it also depends a lot from the teachers and the school administration. Some parents don’t feel comfortable with the spiritual part. I think as every other school, you should monitor your child closely, talk to them and see how they feel, in order to understand if everything is going well.

For us Areknazan/Waldorf school of Armenia was a blessing and made schooling a very positive and joyful experience for the whole family.

The school is situated on Saryan street near the Post office.

Cost: 25 000 DRAM per month per child (aprox. 70 USD)

Schedule: 8:30-2pm and they have child care service for working parents until 6.30pm – open from Monday to Friday.

They also have extracurricular activities: piano, violin, dance

Yerevan parks tested by my kids(continued)

Lover’s Park: Very nice but not very suitable for very young active kids. Lots of restrictions (no playing on the green, no throwing pebbles in the water…). Unless you have a child who likes sitting on a nice bench and reading a book or taking a nice walk, it is not a place where children can play freely. I think it is mostly designed for adults or quiet and calm kids. My daughters enjoyed the art corner very much though. There is toilet facilities and the park is really clean and you can find good sandwiches for your little ones.
Disadvantages: not very big or no large areas to play active games (with ball).


Santa Fe’s playground(near cascade, facing Tumanyan statue): For the past couple of years, this place was a lifesaver for us. It has the most secure (relatively to others) play equipment for kids older than 3. Very interesting slides, climbers and swings. They also have real sand covering the play area, so children can go barefoot and enjoy playing with it. Last year they also added a craft corner (ceramics) in the afternoons. They also have a green area where kids can run freely and play ball. Near the playground you have the café and adults can sit and enjoy a drink or food while watching the kids. Toilet costs 100Drams per use.
Disadvantage: Gets too crowded especially in the evenings and not very fun for the younger ones. Service sucks at the café, so you have to be very patient.

Luna parks: I personally don’t like them at all, too noisy, artificial and very bad quality. We go there very rarely, on occasions to do something different. My kids enjoy some of the rides. The one on the corner of Khandjian and Tigran medz has rides for all ages. Toilets are very dirty and service unfriendly.

Freedom Park (monument): still very soviet era rides, weather is nice and is spacious. My kids have usually lots of fun there and you could spend almost half a day or more, nice shady areas. Usually packed in the weekends. It is nice to go there with a group. Toilet dirty but don’t have lots of choice.

Summer

If you are in Armenia during the summer, you have to be very creative to find good, fun and safe entertainment for your kids. The challenge was bigger a couple of years ago when even the basic necessities (baby food, milk, diapers...) were hard to find and activity centers for kids was almost non-existent.
Today you still find some good choices:

Public park: In Yerevan, there is a couple of nice spots, but if you are looking for nice well equipped and safe playground, that would be real hard. Most of the parks have nice green areas, colorful benches but rarely a playground for kids. Some of the parks have old soviet iron playground not very safe for small kids. The other disadvantage is that most of the public parks don't have bathrooms and that could cause a problem for newly potty trained kids and older ones.
In general, kids in Yerevan need more playground public safe spaces, something that no one is investing in right now.

the parks tested by my kids (4, 7, 9 yrs old):

The italian park (near the Sundukyan theater): very nice, shady, lots of trees and green spaces and cool water fountain in the middle. Kids play with sand near the fountain and you can sit near them on a nice bench reading a book and enjoying the breeze.
disadvantage: no toilet (unless you go to the nearest cafe or ask the theater), no playground-slides, swings, you need to bring your own toys.

The park near Poplovok: This is a very small park near the famous cafe Poplovok, and surrounded with many other cafes and is usually very crowded after 6pm. Here you have some playground equipments (not very safe) you have to be near if your child is too small. Slide, Climber and a swing. The interesting thing is that the park has a craft area where children from 3and up can buy their little ceramic statues and paint them. This is not expensive and usually children enjoy it a lot.
disadvantage: the slide is a little broken, you need to be careful. No toilet, unless you go to Poplovok.

The park on Khandjian (near swiss chalet): We went once to this park and did not like it. from far it looks so nice and colorful but once you approach it you see how badly maintained it is. The slide has a big hole in the middle, someone can cut itself if not careful. The swings are not attached very well and the park was very dirty with bottles on the floor and also too noisy (near a big street).

(to be continued)

Partyyyyyy!!!

After hibernating for almost 5 days, we finally called Diguine Anna our devoted babysitter to stay with the kids so we can go out for the first party of the year at Square One, organized by Deem Communications and Aftershock. The place was packed! we danced non-stop. Sam, the godfather , Araz, Gohar, Arsineh...and most of the people I know were there, enjoying the music, dancing and going crazy (meaning Araz:)

Visiting Amassia's friend

Yesterday we were invited at Nane's house, Amassia's best friend from the Waldorf school, for a traditional Armenian New Year's feast. We talked a lot about the education system in Armenia, since other parents were also invited. We discussed the importance of Waldorf school in the Armenian society and how it is preparing a more conscious and responsible future generation.
The kids had a blast running everywhere in the small apartment under the supervision of the Dadig of the house (the grandmother). We couldn't stay long since we had reserved tickets for the Ice skating show at the Sport Complex.